Well, today is the day...Happy Birthday to Me :)

Well it is my 30th birthday and I am proud to say that it was such a great one. From sun up to sun down it was a beautiful day, the only thing missing is that I was not with my guy or my Cincinnati friends. The pro, I was in Topanga, California with Terri, Jim and the monkey. I was able to wear capri's and sandals on my birthday. Yes, on December 9th I was able to frolic outside and enjoy life.

Birthdays are normally hard for me. I am always down with celebrating someone's big day but for me I never feel quite right. Besides being with Terri I think what made this a great birthday is because I felt great, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I can not remember a time in which that was possible, I think for past birthdays I felt like life was passing me by. I did not feel as if I was my true self but on December 31, 2009 I prayed to God and I vowed that 2010 was going to be a good year. I was going to be my true self, resist the urge to hide and embrace all the wonders and beauty that God has given me.

My life started to change when I did the Free journey at Crossroads. In the journey I opened myself up and I had conversations with God. I felt heard and loved. I also had a life changing event when I met Caleb Michael. I met a man who was my compliment. I did not know such a man existed and now I am so happy. In addition I worked on my 30 by 30 list. I challenged myself to reengage in activities I loved and lost in my maturing in age and I also pushed myself to do things that I never thought I could do (i.e. run in a half marathon!!).

Today besides being my birthday is the day in which I realized that I am not perfect and that is fine. The world did not end. No one is judging me and I am cool with that. It has taken me such a long time to get to this point. I did not complete my 30by 30 list. I made strides but it is not complete. I do not feel like a failure but instead I feel like it is not over, I have so much more that I want to do that I will do.

I started this journey because my best friend Kara inspired me. I sat down in April 2010 and thought of 30 things that I liked and things that I used to LOVE but due to school, work and trying to have a life I let fall to the wayside. All of the activities accomplished has a blog posting, due to the high volume of things I did do, I did not include a link to every single one so I will give a brief synopsis of the accomplishments. Here is my walk down memory lane......

1. Be a vegetarian for one week: this is something that I still want to do. I feel that I did not give it the honest shake that it deserved. I tried for one day but realized that I did no research and I am not going to just eat cheese sandwiches and eggs for the entire time.

2. Train and participate in a 1/2 marathon: I completed this by doing the Cincinnati half on October 23rd. It was so amazing and I loved it. My journey was full of tears, sweat, doubt but also encouragement, love and motivation. Because of this I plan to try to run one every year. I finished in 2:53 and the best time ever for me. I am truly proud of myself and my supportive friends.

3. Go hiking: this was completed on May 29th in Hocking Hills, Ohio: Old Man’s Cave with Caleb Michael. I now am better prepared to engage in this activity. In the future I will not wear white and khaki and I will not get my hair done. lol

4. Go camping: in the traditional sense this did not happen, but since Terri's place was outdoorsy I cheat and kinda count it. But this is something that I am going to do, I want to go camping in the traditional sense, I think it would be fun.

5. Visit a different state: wow was this ever achieved. In 2011 I visited West Virginia with Kara and Heather in July, New Jersey with Danae in August, Virginia in November with Caleb, Wisconsin in November with Caleb and California in December with Terri.

6. Upgrade my wardrobe (10 new outfits): this was achieved in buying of lots of dresses and some pants.

7. Cook a new dish at least twice a month: I cooked so many different meals, I have not blogged about all of them but I will.

8. Learn a different language (Spanish/Sign language): I signed up for Mango online and after one chapter I stopped. I need to be a bit less ambiguous with this one for next year.

9. Take chances (don't let my anxiety take over!!): this is a continued work in progress but I would say that I am doing well with this one. I think that I am very verbal in expressing myself and even though I have some doubts I do take chances.

10. Drop at least 20 pounds: at time of this posting I am not sure but I think I did okay.

11. Save at least $500: I tried saving but it was not as much as I had planned. But considering that I was able to take some great trips I am thankful that I had the funds for that.

12. Pay off at least 3 credit cards: I paid off Staples & Lane Bryant. I want to count my Visa card but I ran it back up. So I count this as a success because in theory I did pay off 3.

13. Switch my license, my plates and my tags to Kentucky: did not happen. It costs so much and I spent a great deal of money this year already.

14. Start a blog and write weekly: I was doing well with this one until after Thanksgiving, but I do count it as a success.

15. Stock my wine bar: it is completely stocked with various flavors of wine

16. Finish decorating my house: not quite achieved but it is getting there.

17. Go to an away sports game: on a date with Caleb I went to soft ball game in Miami County, Ohio in which he was coaching for Special Olympics.

18. Read at least 8 new books: I read my books: Chelsea, Chelsea bang bang, Gods Behaving Badly, Greek Mythology, Helen of Troy, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Eat, Pray Love, The Portrait of Dorian Grey, Twilight

19. Have a total spa day (full body massage, mani, pedi and hair: I did not do this either. I got a nice hair style but I did not do the whole spa day.

20. Visit/take part in at least 3 cultural events: I went to the Butterfly show, Kara's music recital, the Cincy museum and also the Greek Festival

21. Take a tour of a winery: for dinner and drinks I went to Valley Vineyard

22. Take a road trip preferably to some place new: I went on so many Hocking Hills, Ohio, Nitro, West Virginia, Pentwater, Michigan, Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Lotus Grove, Virginia/

23. Finish my doctoral portfolio: this was completed in September and submitted in November 2010.

24. Buy my birthstone jewel either as a necklace, ring or bracelet: I brought Phillippe!!

25. Take an art class: completed on August 21st Leaf Sand Casting

26. Make something, be it a pillow or a quilt: I did not make anything like a pillow or quilt but for my art class I made something that would look great outdoors.

27. Watch the sunset on the beach: in Michigan for Michelle’s wedding.

28. Do one crazy thing: I took part in Mystery Hole in West Virginia. I was ill for a day :(

29. Take my grandma to lunch or dinner: did not do this.

30. Let people in my life know that I care about them: I did this via Facebook where each day a group of individuals were given a shout out!!

So that was my year. It was amazing and I loved every minute of it. I am ready to embrace my 30's and beyond. The era of my 20's is gone but not forgotten. I cherish all of the memories I have, good or bad because it made me who I am today. This is the beginning of .......

Happy Thanksgiving and Welcome to Wisconsin

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Today I am in Milwaukee with Caleb about to meet his family. We drove from Englewood and it took a little over 6 hours due to some traffic, rainfall, the quick stop and the fact that everyone was out on the road trying to go somewhere. But we made it safe and sound and were able to get some sleep.

Last night on the drive here I actually got to speak to his mom. It was kinda cool, it makes meeting her today less anxiety provoking. I am bummed that I will not be spending this holiday with my mom. I think this is the first time ever that I was not with her for Thanksgiving. But I will give her a call and check in on her.

Besides this being Thanksgiving this is also another state crossed off my list. Granted it is not official until I eat a meal here, but that will not be a problem. We will be here for four days and three nights and I am super pumped to spend it with Caleb and to go exploring. I will write more about this trip to this wonderful city and my interactions with his family upon my return.

Virginia & Washington DC

Caleb and I made it to Virginia and back and we still like each other so bonus :P It was a wonderful trip. I felt so rested, I met a portion of his family and I really liked them. Caleb told me that they liked me also which is awesome. It is so hard meeting new people for me because it takes me a while to warm up, but when I do it is hard to get me to shut up. Granted I don't babble all the time nonstop but once I am comfortable being around people I feel more like myself.

The drive back and forth was not that bad at all. My Honda made it with no issues, even though I left the interior light on overnight (gotta love my new battery). I ended up putting roughly 1200 miles on the car and now I have the confidence that my car can survive and make a road trip.

His family was so warm and friendly just like Caleb. The interaction and outcome of this trip greatly lessens my anxiety over meeting his mother, brother and sister in law next week. Granted I am still nervous because it is new, but I am thinking positive thoughts and know that things will be okay.

So I took on two states this trip Virginia and DC. I am so happy that we got to go to DC. It was so wonderful and beautiful. Being there stirred so many emotions in me, happiness, awe, anger, sadness, hope, I can go on. It was wonderful being there with Caleb. I am happy to say that we traveled well together. It is great that we are both so low maintenance and easy going (which can be difficult at times when making decisions since we are both up for anything).

While in Washington we walked around National Mall and we saw the following:
The Capital Building

War World II Memorial

Jefferson Memorial

FDR Memorial Park

Vietnam Memorial

Lincoln Memorial

The White House aka Obama's Crib

Washington at Night, beautiful end to a wonderful day :)


We went shopping, sight seeing and just had low key fun with his family. It makes me a little sad that at this point in time my mom is being angry and not wanting to talk to me but I continue to have hope that she will come around. Until she does I am going to enjoy getting to know his family and spending time with my guy. Hopefully next year he and I can drive to meet Traleathea in Texas. We spoke about that while driving back to Kentucky so depending on his time off it may happen. He gets 3 or 4 weeks off a year, but since 2 of those weeks are already determined it is really a week off.

We are also planning on going to Seattle for a vacation in July hopefully. He gets a mandatory week off roughly around the time of his birthday so my hope is that we can go there to celebrate his birthday (turning the big 30) and this will be another state for me to visit that I haven't so far.

Well I guess that is all for my update. It was so wonderful that I am sad to be back. The only thing making it worthwhile to come back is being back with my little Bud Bud (oh and my awesome friends too :)

Next week I will give you an update on how Wisconsin and meeting the family goes. I am sure it will be fine, like Caleb told me once, just be myself and they will like me. Well, until I write in you again....

One month to go....

Oh snap where did the time go?!?! I have one month to go and I will be 30. For the first time in my life I am not worried, sad, or feeling blah about my birthday. This year has truly been one of the best years I have had and I can only thank God for that. Last year as I laid down sick on New Year's Eve I made myself a promise and I vowed that 2010 would be a great year and so far it has been.

I have actually grown up in my relationship with my family. Instead of being the passive one who got walked on, I have been standing up for myself. The costs of standing up for myself has been harsh but I told myself that it had to happen. I don't know what the future will hold but I can say that I took a stand and I love the freedom that it has given me.

Another thing that made this year great is that I devised a 30 by 30 list. Thirty activities that I wanted to do before I hit the big 30 and I can say that there is a high chance that I will not complete the list in the remaining time I have left. I think that my list will be short of 2 or 3 completed items, but I have done so much with my time that if I don't complete this, I will have no regrets and I will eventually do it. Maybe I will devise a list of things to do my first year of being 30 and the items that I don't do will be on it. (See I am always thinking).

My friends are still amazing and gifts that I am so blessed to have. I can truly be myself with them and tell them anything and still feel loved and accepted. It has taken me so long to feel that way. I felt like if my friends knew the true me that they would not love or accept me. It is so wonderful being proven wrong.

Caleb is the new addition to my life this year. I met someone who is similar yet different from me and I love that. He is the calm to my mania. I like to think that we pull something new out of each other that makes us that much more awesome (lol). I feel that I can be myself with him and not feel judged. I enjoy the time we spend together and that he makes me laugh, think about life, and cherish the moments I have. He has helped me with so many items on this list and has been there with a hug, kiss and smile.

There are so many things that I love about this year and some regrets that I have. I have completed a total of 17 activities, 8 are in progress and 5 I have not even started. The 8 that are in progress will be complete by the time of my birthday, of the five that I have not even started I am thinking that 2 won't be done (changing my plates from OH to KY and the full spa day. I have been racking my brain to see when I can do that but I can't. Before my birthday I don't have any free time to do all of the activities in one sitting. But if I can schedule this before my birthday then I will count it as in progress which will be better than not even started.

The beauty is that I am living my life and enjoying my time. This list has enabled me to find myself, my interests and share it with the people in my life who mean so much. One more month to go .....

Another state to visit :)

Well, I am about to go out of town tomorrow with Caleb to Virginia. I have not been to this state and before meeting him, I did not think Virginia would be one of the states I will visit this year. No, we are not going for a vacation, I am going to visit his sister, brother-in-law and nephew. Well, I guess I can consider it a vacation, we will be there Thursday to Sunday so it will be a vacation but also a meet and greet. I am kinda nervous but excited at the same time. We are driving so it will be a 9 hour drive which will be made better due to us both driving my car. I am praying that my car will make the drive. I am sad that I can not bring Buddy so he will be boarded, but I am thinking this will be a great trip. Well this is all for now, I will give an update once I return.

Going out to California way

Just got my birthday present a mere 38 days before the BIG 30!! I am heading out to California to visit my friend Terri. I will get to see her, husband Jim and her little baby boy Aidan. I am super excited.

I was a little worried that I would not go. I have been planting the seed with my friends since February and last weekend I emailed both Terri and Thu to check and make sure it is still okay. Unfortunately, Thu canceled on me, and I thought the same will happen to Terri but it is still a go. I am on my way out to California way.

This is so exciting. The ticket was only $259.30 so not too bad. I will be staying with Terri so room and board is free. I will probably bring about $250 for the 4 days I am there. That should be enough (hopefully). Maybe I will even get to see Liza from Boston College. I am so stoke, never been to California and that will mean that I traveled to 6 different states this year. I am loving life right now. Until I write in you again...

My marathon journey

So I completed another wonderful activity by running in the First ever Cincinnati Half Marathon on October 23, 2010. How awesome is that :) Let me recreate this journey.

I started running with the Running Spot in July with the goal of running in the Oxford Marathon September 26. Ann and I joined this club totally afraid and wondering what did we get ourselves into. I never thought that I would be able to run but I raced with my running group which was HARD. I used to hard core run on the treadmill but taking that to the outdoors is difficult. As time went on during my training, running on the treadmill got boring and all I craved was to run outdoors. During my running my right ankle would hurt but after running a certain distance the pain would go away (apparently that was my endorphins kicking in). But one morning, August13, I decided to run up Dixie Highway for a total of 11 miles. It took my 2:45 minutes. I was proud of myself and felt good about myself and my upcoming race.

The downside is that after that run, my right ankle began to hurt constantly. Nothing I could do would help the pain. I stopped running for weeks which turned into months. I went to a clinic and was informed that I should not take part in the Oxford Marathon. I cried and came to grips with the fact that I can't run. I spoke to Caleb and Danae and felt better and in time decided to do the Cincinnati Half. I decided that doing the Cincinnati half would be the best thing to do because it was the first ever for Cincinnati, close to my home, and the course was advertised as being flat.

I registered for this race, Danae registered and I decided that I needed to train again. Too bad that I decided to train 2 weeks before the race. The cool thing I kept telling myself is that I ran 11 miles before, I can do it again.


Race day 10/23/10 went off well. Caleb, Matt and Doreen saw Danae and I off. Around mile 3, Maggie was on 5th Street cheering me on, I saw Doreen around mile 5, I saw Joe my coach around mile 8 and at the finish line I saw Maggie and Ann cheering me on with a completion time of 2:53. I could not believe it. I did the race that fast, under 3 hours. I felt so amazing and I pushed myself but not too hard. I met up with the rest of my friends 20 minutes later or so. I felt so accomplished and the thought in my head was that I will never run a half again, but then again I decided that maybe every year I will take part in the Cincinnati half. I don't know, it is too early and I am in too much pain to commit.

Danae ended up finishing too, so proud of her and every step of the way she had a smile on her face and tunes on her iPod. After taking pictures and coming down from the great high, we all left the area. We had a celebratory 22 oz of Woodchuck and Caleb took me to Zip's for the best burger ever and dessert at Aglamesis Brothers. It is amazing how great the day was and how far I have come to make this journey. It was a great end to the perfect day.